Working Step 8 Questions
Made a list of all persons we have harmed and became willing to make amends to them all.
PAA members have offered various approaches to this step. The following questions may provide further guidance.
- Have I resisted making a list? If so, why?
- Did I use my fourth step as a tool in preparing my list? How?
- Did I consult with my sponsor or others in PAA on how they made their list? What suggestions did they make? How can I learn from them?
- Am I willing to make amends? If no, why not? If yes, am I willing to write about my experience?
- How have I used rationalization or justification to block me from becoming willing?
- Do I understand that willingness is different than making the actual amends? Describe the differences.
- Have I considered praying for the willingness to become willing? How patient am I in allowing myself to grow into willingness for making difficult amends?
- How willing am I to be completely honest?
- Which people on my list am I willing to contact first? Why?
- Have I included myself on my list? Why or why not?
- How does the higher power of my understanding play a role in this step?
- Can I share with my group my faults, feelings, and challenges with this step?
- How can I encourage those I sponsor to begin working this step based on my own personal experiences?
- As I work step eight, how do I envision it helping me in my relationship with the alienators in my life? My workers or friends? My extended family?
- In reviewing my list, is there a pattern reflecting new defects in my character? Can I see how those defects harmed those on my list? Is this a pattern I identify in working steps five and six?
- Do I recognize when my minding someone else’s business may have harmed them or others? Am I willing to recognize the need for my amends?
One Response
I know that the parties involved in the alienation process, my ex-wife, my daughter, and my son feel aggrieved with me. I am, and I’ve always been willing to acknowledge my shortcomings in regard to my dealings with them. I attempted to be a good enough husband and a good enough parent. Good enough means doing everything. I understood to be supportive and loving, always understanding that there were limitations. Limitations did not entail bad will in my part, but rather inexperience and/or immaturity.