Welcome to the step & related questions meeting of Parental Alienation Anonymous (PA-A). WE WILL BE STUDYING EACH STEP IN THE CORRELATING MONTH. WE WILL BE USING PATHS TO RECOVERY FOR OUR MEETING. STEP 1 IN JANUARY, STEP 2 IN FEBRUARY AND SO FORTH.
Please make sure you are muted if you are not sharing to cut down on background noise.
My name is _____ and I am the leader for this meeting. (please qualify)
My name is……. And I am an alienated……….. I have……kids and please identify what
contact you have.
We start the meeting with the serenity prayer (PASTE THIS IN THE CHAT), you
can replace god with higher power or anything else that resonates with
you. Please unmute if you would like and chant along.
- God Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change
The courage to change the things I can
And the wisdom to know the difference. - I am going to read a page or so of announcements and then we are going
to jump right into the meeting. - READ ……PA-A Preamble
PA-A Preamble
ALIENATION is a family disease. Living with the effects of someone else’s
ALIENATING BEHAVIOR is too devastating for most people to bear without help. In PA-
A we learn that nothing we say or do can cause or stop someone else’s ALIENATING
behavior. We are not responsible for another person’s disease or recovery from it.
By learning to focus on ourselves, our attitudes and well-being improve.
Before Parental Alienation Anonymous (PA-A), we kept ourselves busy seeking
solutions for the alienator (child, parent, spouse, etc.). When what we were trying to
accomplish wasn’t succeeding, we told ourselves to work harder or to try something
else. We may even have told ourselves; it was our fault if we couldn’t convince the
alienator (child, parent, spouse, etc.) to get help. If we could only find the right words at
the right time, relayed in just the right tone of voice, then maybe we could get the
alienator to see things our way. Desperate to fulfill our dreams for a happy family life,
we thought that devoting all our energy to the problem was the answer. Little did we
know we were actually contributing to the problem by trying to force solutions.
PA-A is a fellowship that offers a program of recovery for the families and friends who
are affected by alienation regardless of whether or not the alienator recognizes the
existence of a problem or seeks help. Members give and receive comfort and
understanding through a mutual exchange of experience, strength, and hope. Sharing
of similar challenges binds individuals and groups together in a bond that is protected
by a tradition of anonymity. PA-A is not a religious organization or a counseling agency.
It is not a treatment center nor is it allied with any other organization offering such
services. PA-A, neither expresses opinions on outside issues nor endorses outside
enterprises. No dues or fees are required. Membership is voluntary, requiring only that
one’s own life has been adversely affected by someone else’s alienating behaviors.
- It is now time for the secretary report. (the secretary introduces
themselves and makes meeting announcements) The Secretary will turn
the meeting back over to the leader when announcements are completed.
- This is a step & related questions meeting, where we share on a particular step each month that correlates numerically with the month we are in.
This month we are reading & answering questions on Step….. (PLEASE HAVE THE SECRETARY PASTE STEP, READING & QUESTIONS IN THE CHAT)……. - Leader will share for 3-5 minutes about their experience with the step.
- We will now have time for sharing. Please raise your hand if you would like to
share, if more than 20 people are present please raise your virtual hand or type
your name in to the chat. We ask that you relate your sharing from your own
experience, strength, and hope, keeping the focus on yourself the step AND QUESTIONS PROVIDED.
Please make sure to include your recovery and what you are doing to take care
of yourself today in your share. - Please refrain from crosstalk. Cross talk is defined as sharing on another person’s
share or directly responding to another person. If you are moved by another’s share,
please contact them directly in the chat, please remember not everyone will want to
chat or connect 1 on 1. If you have any questions about the meeting or PA-A, the zoom
link is open 10 minutes before the meeting and 10 minutes after the meeting. Please
come early or stay late for some fellowship. - At this meeting, we use a timer. You will have 3 minutes to share, plus an
additional 1 minute to wrap up. (If there are more than 14 people at the meeting
the time will be reduced to 2 minutes to share plus 1 minute to wrap up.) The
leader can choose to be the timer, ask for a volunteer or ask the secretary to
time. We will let you know when you have 1-minute remaining, we will either
raise a finger or make an announcement. We do this in order to make sure as
many people as possible get to share. Please have folks qualify if comfortable
with at least their first name
- AT 430 PM (PST WEST COAST TIME) the leader says………..It now time to read the 12 steps of PA-A & then return to open sharing.
- PA-A is a 12 step program, We go through the steps 1 step at a time
in order, to help support our emotional and spiritual recovery.
Read the 12 steps (steps attached) (READ EACH STEP NUMBER
PLEASE)
THE TWELVE STEPS OF PARENTAL ALIENATION ANONYMOUS (PA-A.org)
**Option for leader (Please replace God with higher power if it is an appropriate choice
for you)
- We admitted we were powerless over PEOPLE (Our alienator, our children, our
grandchildren, our parents and any other relationships)—and that our lives had become
unmanageable. - Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
- Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we
understood them. - Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
- Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our
wrongs. - Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
- Humbly asked them to remove our shortcomings.
- Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to
them all. - Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would
injure them or others. - Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
- Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as
we understood them, praying only for knowledge of their will for us and the power to
carry that out. - Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this
message to other folks suffering from this disease, and to practice these principles in all
our affairs. - We will now return to open sharing, who would like to share?
- If everyone has shared before the meeting is complete please allow an additional
2 minutes per person if they have an additional share. Add a prompt to the chat
with a step question or a different topic. - At 510 PM Leader says, “That is all the time we have for sharing”.
14. READ…..The secretary sends a weekly email right after the meeting with the reading and questions for next week. Please make sure you are on this meetings email list in order to get that weekly. You will also receive the link for the reading and questions on the weekly Wednesday PA-A email.
Please Read Suggested PA-A closing (attached)
Suggested PA-A Closing
Members are encouraged to connect with each other for support in between
meetings. If you want a copy of our phone list or to be included please ask the
secretary in the chat, respond to the meeting email or sign on to PA-A.org and fill
in the suggestion form with your information. As a reminder the zoom link will
stay open an extra ten minutes at the end of the meeting for questions and
fellowship.
A suggestion to the new comer, please try 5 or 6 meetings before you make
a decision if this program is a fit for you. It takes time to acclimate to the
group, the context of the shares, the emotions that might come up and to
build consistency, safety and a sense of belonging.
In closing, I would like to say that the opinions expressed here were
strictly those of the person who gave them. Take what you liked and
leave the rest.The things you heard were spoken in confidence and should be
treated as confidential. Keep them within the walls of this room and
the confines of your mind.
A few special words to those of you who haven’t been with us long:
Whatever your problems, there are those among us who have had
them, too. If you try to keep an open mind, you will find help. You will
come to realize that there is no situation too difficult to be bettered
and no unhappiness too great to be lessened.
Talk to each other, reason things out with someone else, but let there
be no gossip or criticism of one another. Instead, let the
understanding, love, and peace of the program grow in you one day at
a time.
- We will now have a moment of silence for anyone out there struggling with
the effects of parental alienation in their lives. (after 5-10 seconds knock on
the table to close this moment of silence) - To End The meeting………….(please read this slowly so people can chant
along)
Please join me in the Serenity Prayer.
God Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change
The courage to change the things I can
And the wisdom to know the difference.
the meeting is over, please unmute and join in some fellowship and or questions
