Parental Alienation Anonymous – Wednesday Step Study Script
Welcome everyone to the Wednesday Step Study meeting of Parental Alienation Anonymous. My name is ______, I am an alienated ______ of __ kid(s) with ______ contact.
I have asked ______ to say the Serenity Prayer. Please unmute if you would like.
God Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change
The courage to change the things I can
And the wisdom to know the difference.
I have asked ______ to read the preamble.
ALIENATION is a family disease. Living with the effects of someone else’s ALIENATING BEHAVIOR is too devastating for most people to bear without help. In PA-A we learn that nothing we say or do can cause or stop someone else’s ALIENATING behavior. We are not responsible for another person’s disease or recovery from it.
By learning to focus on ourselves, our attitudes and well-being improve.
Before Parental Alienation Anonymous (PA-A), we kept ourselves busy seeking solutions for the alienator (child, parent, spouse, etc.). When what we were trying to accomplish wasn’t succeeding, we told ourselves to work harder or to try something else. We may even have told ourselves; it was our fault if we couldn’t convince the alienator (child, parent, spouse, etc.) to get help. If we could only find the right words at the right time, relayed in just the right tone of voice, then maybe we could get the alienator to see things our way. Desperate to fulfill our dreams for a happy family life, we thought that devoting all our energy to the problem was the answer. Little did we know we were actually contributing to the problem by trying to force solutions.
PA-A is a fellowship that offers a program of recovery for the families and friends who are affected by alienation regardless of whether or not the alienator recognizes the existence of a problem or seeks help. Members give and receive comfort and understanding through a mutual exchange of experience, strength, and hope. Sharing of similar challenges binds individuals and groups together in a bond that is protected by a tradition of anonymity. PA-A is not a religious organization or a counseling agency. It is not a treatment center nor is it allied with any other organization offering such services. PA-A, neither expresses opinions on outside issues nor endorses outside enterprises. No dues or fees are required. Membership is voluntary, requiring only that one’s own life has been adversely affected by someone else’s alienating behaviors.
Are there any newcomers to the meeting? This is not to embarrass you but to offer you the same warm welcome we received when we first came to PA-A.
Please say your 1st name, how many kids, and what contact you have.
A special welcome to the newcomers. It takes dedication and bravery to show up to a new meeting. Listening to others’ experiences can be somewhat scary at first—it takes a bit to hear the message of recovery & hope. It usually takes 5-6 meetings to adjust to new meetings and formats. It has been a slow process for all of us.
I will put a link to a PDF of the newcomers booklet in the chat with some useful information: https://parentalalienationanonymous.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/10/PA-A-Newcomer-Booklet.pdf
Announcements
Literature announcement: We use Paths to Recovery as our primary literature. It is Al-Anon literature that we adapt for PA-A. Courage to Change is also used. You can find more info regarding these books at Al-Anon.org or this web site which I will put in the chat: https://parentalalienationanonymous.com/pa-a-literature/
We have a phone list for our group. You might find it helpful to connect with folks for support or just to say hi in between meetings. Please send me your email address in the chat if you want to be added to the contact list.
Tradition announcement and post at meetings:
It is now time for the 7th Tradition, which states that every PAA group is self-supporting, declining outside contributions. To preserve the autonomy of the meeting, a $2-$5 donation is suggested. Extra funds will be donated to Al-Anon family groups until such a time that PAA has its own group and world services. All meetings will remain free and accessible to everyone, donations are only suggested. Our Venmo address (for US contributions) will be posted in the chat, for non-US members, Paypal can be used.
Please post in the chat: Venmo https://venmo.com/u/Jennifer-Staton-11 PayPal: https://www.paypal.com/donate?campaign_id=5WWVYLCYTHFA2 Any other announcements? This is a Step Study meeting, where we read and share on a particular step each week. This week is Step ____. I will start with a reading and share for 3-5 minutes on the step. (Secretary shares for 3-5 minutes) We will now have time for sharing. Please raise your hand if you would like to share. Please refrain from crosstalk. This is defined as commenting on someone else’s share. We intentionally refrain from sharing or giving advice on another’s share. If you are moved by someone else’s share, feel free to contact them in the chat. Not everyone will want to chat or connect one on one. If you have any questions about the meeting or PA-A, the zoom link is open 10 minutes before the meeting and 10 minutes after the meeting. Please come early or stay late for some fellowship. At this meeting, we use a timer. You will have __ minutes to share, plus an additional 1 minute to wrap up. I will let you know when you have 1-minute remaining by raising a finger or I’ll make an announcement. We do this in order to make sure as many people as possible get to share. An important reminder to anyone that chooses to share, PAA is a recovery based group. Please focus part of share on your recovery.The secretary or leader will interrupt you and redirect your share if needed. This is done in order to keep this space safe for all members. The meeting is now open for sharing. (After 30 minutes, the secretary says…) It is now time to read the 12 steps of PA-A. I have asked ______ to read them for us. THE TWELVE STEPS OF PARENTAL ALIENATION ANONYMOUS 1. We admitted we were powerless over PEOPLE (Our alienator, our children, our grandchildren, our parents and any other relationships)—and that our lives had become unmanageable. 2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. 3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood them. 4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. 5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs. 6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character. 7. Humbly asked them to remove our shortcomings. 8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all. 9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others. 10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it. 11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood them, praying only for knowledge of their will for us and the power to carry that out. 12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to other folks suffering from this disease, and to practice these principles in all our affairs. We will now return to sharing, who would like to share? (At 70 minutes mark, the secretary says…) We have now come to the end of sharing time. As a reminder the zoom link will stay open an extra ten minutes at the end of the meeting for questions and fellowship. In closing, I would like to say that the opinions expressed here were strictly those of the person who gave them. Take what you liked and leave the rest. The things you heard were spoken in confidence and should be treated as confidential. Keep them within the walls of this room and the confines of your mind. A few special words to those of you who haven’t been with us long: Whatever your problems, there are those among us who have had them, too. If you try to keep an open mind, you will find help. You will come to realize that there is no situation too difficult to be bettered and no unhappiness too great to be lessened. Talk to each other, reason things out with someone else, but let there be no gossip or criticism of one another. Instead, let the understanding, love, and peace of the program grow in you one day at a time. We will now have a moment of silence for anyone out there struggling with the effects of parental alienation. Please join me in the Serenity Prayer. God Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change The courage to change the things I can And the wisdom to know the difference.
