To qualify; I am an alienated father of three daughters 27, 24 and 20 years old, I am also an alienated grandfather. (WE QUALIFY AT EACH PA-A.ORG SUPPORT GROUP MEETING BEFORE WE SHARE OUR THOUGHTS FOR THE DAY)
This year the addition of my Parental Alienation Anonymous support group meetings and community has been life changing. I have a community I see SEVERAL TIMES A WEEK ON ZOOM CALLS, and I also have folks that I text and exchange calls with daily.
I have support that MY family and friends could not provide. I do not need to explain my feelings and or behaviors that are associated with Parental Alienation (PA), what a relief. The meetings are structured with a leader and secretary. There is a script that they follow in order to keep the meeting safe and orderly. It is a place of recovery, a place we get to tell our stories and also work on our emotionally and spiritual recovery. Every one has 3 minutes to share and 1 minute to wrap up.
THE MEETINGS are a place of hope and change. In the context of systems theory in general and family systems in particular, the number one leverage point is the individual. That means you and I are the most important leverage point (intervention point) in our family systems. We have to be the healthiest version of ourselves when we engage with the system. I used to try get everyone to listen to me, to understand all the trauma and drama and help me get my kids back. I was operating from a reactive fragmented place. I exasperated the situation often and lost opportunities to create sustainable change. I was responsible for so much of the carnage. Today with the help of the 12 steps of PA-A.org I show up from a grounded, integrated space most of the time. Attorneys, therapists, judges and other folks no longer view me as a emotionally reactive threat. I am now able to contribute to the solution. I wish I would have had a community like this in my early days of PA it would have made a world of difference.
