1. Our common welfare should come first; personal recovery depends upon PA-A unity.

2. For our group purpose there is but one ultimate authority—a loving God as He may express Himself in our group conscience. Our leaders are but trusted servants; they do not govern.

3. The only requirement for PA-A membership is that you have been or are alienated from a relationship.

4. Each group should be autonomous except in matters affecting other groups or PA-A as a whole.

5. Each group has but one primary purpose—to carry its message to the alienated parent, child, grandparent or other family members and friends who still suffer.

6. An PA-A group ought never endorse, finance, or lend the PA-A name to any related facility or outside enterprise, lest problems of money, property, and prestige divert us from our primary purpose.

7. Every PA-A group ought to be fully self-supporting, declining outside contributions.

8. Parental Alienation Anonymous should remain forever nonprofessional, but our service centers may employ special workers.

9. PA-A, as such, ought never be organized; but we may create service boards or committees directly responsible to those they serve.

10. Parental Alienation Anonymous has no opinion on outside issues; hence the PA-A name ought never be drawn into public controversy.

11. Our public relations policy is based on attraction rather than promotion; we need always maintain personal anonymity at the level of press, radio, and films.

12. Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our Traditions, ever reminding us to place principles before personalities

 PA-A’s 12 Steps and 12 Traditions are reprinted and adapted from the first 164 pages of the “Big Book,” Alcoholics Anonymous, with permission from Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc. Permission to reprint and adapt this material does not mean that AA has reviewed or approved this or any other PA-A material. AA is a program for recovery from alcoholism only. Use of AA material in the program of PA-A, which is patterned after that of AA but which addresses other issues, does not constitute endorsement by, or affiliation with, AA. 

2 “God” in PA-A literature can mean the Deity, a deity, a spiritual entity of one’s own understanding (a Higher Power), or a non-spiritual conception (a higher purpose). Reliance on any one of these conceptions confers a perspective that transcends our immediate physical, social, and emotional circumstances and allows us to “keep calm and carry on” with what really matters. 

3 The term “spiritual awakening” can refer to an event – a vital spiritual experience – or to a gradual change. Those of us who are atheists also experience a transformation, enabling us to place service before selfishness. 

Many of us first reacted to this list like those who first encounter AA’s Twelve Steps: “What an order! I can’t go through with it!” And, in the same way that AA members comfort newcomers, we in PA-A are happy to reassure, “Do not be discouraged. No one among us has been able to maintain anything like perfect adherence to these principles.” The point is that we are willing to grow along the lines we have set down. We aim for balance, understanding that “our real purpose is to fit ourselves to be of maximum service to God/Higher power (ect) and the people about us.” We claim progress, never perfection. 

Our description of Parental Alienation, coupled with our personal adventures before and after finding recovery, make clear three pertinent ideas: 

• That we had serious problems—relationships—that we could not solve despite our best efforts. 

• That no accessible human power had relieved our relationship problems. 

• That reliance on God, a Higher Power, or a higher purpose could—and would—restore us to sanity and set us free. 


    • I suggest attending meetings. You will get to meet other people struggling with similar circumstances and to to gain access to a bunch of different resources. All meetings are on zoom and accessible from anywhere.

      You can register on the website to the pop-up and get added to the weekly email lists or you can send an email to with any other questions.

      I hope to see you at a meeting. Have a beautiful day.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *