Before Parental Alienation Anonymous (PA-A), we kept ourselves busy seeking solutions for the alienator (child, parent, spouse, etc.). When what we were trying to accomplish didn’t succeed, we told ourselves to work harder or to try something else. We may even have told ourselves; it wasn’t our fault if we couldn’t convince the alienator (child, parent, spouse, etc.) to get help. If we could only find the right words at the right time, relayed in just the right tone of voice, then maybe we could get the alienator to see things our way. Desperate to fulfill our dreams for a happy family life, we thought that devoting all our energy to the problem was the answer. Little did we know we were actually contributing to the problem by trying to force solutions.

      In Parental Alienation Anonymous (PA-A), we learn that we didn’t cause the alienation in our lives, we can’t control it, and we can’t cure it. If we are trying to force solutions, we can remember “Easy Does It.” Though we can’t expect our lives to always be easy, the slogan suggests that everything doesn’t have to be so hard all the time either. “Easy Does It” reminds us to be gentle with ourselves. We don’t have to try harder or do better. We have tried long and hard enough. Though we may not be able to change the alienator (child, parent, spouse, etc.), we discover there is one person we can change – ourselves.

(Opening our Hearts, Transforming our Losses, Pg. 23)


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